“50 to 60 percent of all love marriages in the world end in divorce within the first 2 years. However, only 5 percent of arranged marriages end in divorce. This is because arranged marriages are not made of hormones. They are arranged with care by parents according to compatibility of the bride and groom.”
Manisha Paul (in her article “Arranged Marriage or Love Marriage?”)
Do you agree with the above statement?
Arranged marriage or love marriage? That was the topic of the discussion we were having in the lecture today. Usually, most of us will prefer love of our choice, namely the love marriage. Yet, surprisingly, the divorce rate of love marriage is higher than arranged marriage. So, again, which is better? Arranged marriage or love marriage?
During our group discussion that consists of Priscilla, Sze Leing, Sharon and I, we decided that arranged marriage is better, though we still prefer love marriage. Confused? Well, let’s look it in this way. Between fruits and KFC, which is better for our health? You will be shcouting ‘fruits’. Yet, we prefer eating KFC. Hmm……. That’s our human nature, I guess.
First of all, let us define what arranged marriage and love marriage are. Arranged marriage is a marriage in which the marital partners are chosen by someone based on different considerations other than pre-existing mutual attraction of the partners. It is opposite with love marriage which is arranged by the individuals themselves where the couple get to know each other without introduction from a third-party. Besides being an old custom practiced by royal and aristocratic families around the world, they are still practiced in India, Japan, China, Africa and the Middle East.
In our group discussion, our discussion result was, as compared to love marriage, arranged marriage is better on three aspects: marriage stability, partner selection and family values.
Note:
Inspired by an Indian woman’s saying, Rebecca Livermore (in “The Reality of Arranged Marriages”) explained that arranged marriage is more stable because it is not based on feelings, but on commitment. As the “marriage progresses, the feelings develop”. In America, marriage is based on feelings, but when the feelings wane, so does the marriage, as there is nothing left to keep the marriage together. In other words, arranged marriages are mostly centered around building a family, adjustment between the partners and regard for the wishes of one’s family and religion. Love is believed to grow with time by living together and adjusting to each other’s personality rather than being a product of passionate attraction. Hence, with more commitment to each other and the relationship, more stable marriage is formed. According to Mark Gungor in “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage”(2008), romance is a great "salt" to sprinkle on the hard work of sharing a life with another human, but the main ingredient of a happy marriage can never be romance.
Do you agree with that?
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